Concealed Sorrow

by Theory Hazit & Toni Shift

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1.
Things ain't been the same since mom passed away. I just wanna go away. I just wanna go... Verse 1: The name's Nicolas. Named after my dad But I get ridiculed and called names like "fag" and "homo" My real friends call me Nicky I'm an only child born in the Twin City Living with my biological pops isn't pretty He agrees with the bullies at the school out to get me It's cool though..one day I'll run and hide And never to return to the place I reside Until then, I have to settle with a disguise Hiding who I really am from my father's eyes Sexually confused is what "they" label me, telling me All types of diseases from "A to Z" are deadly And playing these medleys over and over Singing the same washed up song trying to go sober Deep in the shadows I search for some type of deity And escape to a place where there's a freer me. Chorus: I just close my eyes and pray to God Wishing away fear 'cuz life so hard And I'm tired of being told of what I don't need But the question is: who 'you really want me to be? So I keep on faking, I keep on crying I keep on cutting, I keep on dying I keep on faking, I keep on crying But I hear a voice saying keep on Verse 2: Now back to bullies. They hope and wish they could be gangsta. This burden's like an anchor Roasting me at lunch time, having a fun time Kicking gay jokes and all until the sunrise "funny ain't it...you feel better" I say with a smirk as I'm putting on my sweater I walk by and one sticks his foot out to trip me It clipped me. I fell so hard it made my lip bleed They grabbed my ankles and dragged to the restroom Emptied out my bookbag yelling out "eff you" "welcome to your funeral" smacked me with minerals That come from an old corroded, out of order urinal Stripped me naked, they were foul and onry Forced me in a corner and began pissing on me Spit on me then left, I know Jesus wept I stayed in the corner balling, all I see is death Chorus Verse 3: I came home that night with my head hanging low And just today, depression's like 8 and 0 My dad asked: 'how was your day?' Same ol same ol, but I'm all right. He's like "way to go!" Went to the bathroom and turned on the shower Locked the door and silently cried for hours Laying on the floor, staring at the ceiling Trying to over come the scariest feeling My dad leaves the house, slamming the door I felt the tremble laying on the bathroom floor I get up and move to the hallway, pacing I stop and gaze at the stairs by the basement Grabbed my belt then I headed down stairs Tied the belt to the rail then I unfolded the chair Stepped up no fear, belt around my neck I changed my mind, tried to get down but then I slipped
2.
Things ain't been the same since mom passed away. I just wanna go away. I just wanna go... Verse 1: The name's Nicolas. Named after my dad But I get ridiculed and called names like "fag" and "homo" My real friends call me Nicky I'm an only child born in the Twin City Living with my biological pops isn't pretty He agrees with the bullies at the school out to get me It's cool though..one day I'll run and hide And never to return to the place I reside Until then, I have to settle with a disguise Hiding who I really am from my father's eyes Sexually confused is what "they" label me, telling me All types of diseases from "A to Z" are deadly And playing these medleys over and over Singing the same washed up song trying to go sober Deep in the shadows I search for some type of deity And escape to a place where there's a freer me. Chorus: I just close my eyes and pray to God Wishing away fear 'cuz life so hard And I'm tired of being told of what I don't need But the question is: who 'you really want me to be? So I keep on faking, I keep on crying I keep on cutting, I keep on dying I keep on faking, I keep on crying But I hear a voice saying keep on Verse 2: Now back to bullies. They hope and wish they could be gangsta. This burden's like an anchor Roasting me at lunch time, having a fun time Kicking gay jokes and all until the sunrise "funny ain't it...you feel better" I say with a smirk as I'm putting on my sweater I walk by and one sticks his foot out to trip me It clipped me. I fell so hard it made my lip bleed They grabbed my ankles and dragged to the restroom Emptied out my bookbag yelling out "eff you" "welcome to your funeral" smacked me with minerals That come from an old corroded, out of order urinal Stripped me naked, they were foul and onry Forced me in a corner and began pissing on me Spit on me then left, I know Jesus wept I stayed in the corner balling, all I see is death Chorus Verse 3: I came home that night with my head hanging low And just today, depression's like 8 and 0 My dad asked: 'how was your day?' Same ol same ol, but I'm all right. He's like "way to go!" Went to the bathroom and turned on the shower Locked the door and silently cried for hours Laying on the floor, staring at the ceiling Trying to over come the scariest feeling My dad leaves the house, slamming the door I felt the tremble laying on the bathroom floor I get up and move to the hallway, pacing I stop and gaze at the stairs by the basement Grabbed my belt then I headed down stairs Tied the belt to the rail then I unfolded the chair Stepped up no fear, belt around my neck I changed my mind, tried to get down but then I slipped

about

2 track single for "Concealed Sorrow". Watch the music video at www.youtube.com/illectrecordings

Full release purchase includes digital booklet.

Please click the song title to read what the song is about. Lyrics are posted as well.

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released August 2, 2011

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Illect Recordings Seattle

Hip-Hop record label founded in 2003.

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